You Can Never Go Home...

The ending credits song from The Two Towers was stuck in my head this morning. This has been happening alot of late. When I suddenly realized what these songs were doing, the news theme from the Daily Show started in my head. I'm taking that to mean that I'm finally understanding a message I've been given. So I've decided to write down the songs each morning and see if I can see a trend with them.

Usually the song is just a fragment of the song but it's enough to get me to go listen to it and get the message. Or the song that follows it on the radio/ipod/whatever is the message I really needed to hear and the one in my head is just a prompt to go looking for the other.

Today however, the song is playing over and over a whole (disjointed) section.

Don't say goodbye, don't say I didn't try...and we will weep to be so alone, we are lost and can never go home...No loyal friend was ever there for me... And you will weep when you face the end alone: You are lost and can never go home

I admit to feeling that way some days but I know intellectually that it's not true. But some days it seems really hard to keep fighting the good fight when it's just you fighting. Some days it seems like it would be really nice to be one of the lemmings in this world and just go to work and come home again. I'll get over this feeling soon enough but I don't know that I want the Universe telling me I'm going to be alone. Though maybe that's the thing. To misquote Vanyel Askevon, "just because I don't have my own hearthfire doesn't mean that I can't warm myself at my friends' hearths periodically." Being alone can be a benefit that will allow me to accomplish my Universal goal for this life in a way I couldn't if I was married/involved. I just need to make sure I don't let being alone rob me of my understanding of what it means to be human.

Title Reference: Howard Shore, Emiliana Torrini: Gollum's Song from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers